The Samadhi - That’s Poppycock!

November 5, 2008

A Taste of Discrimination?

Filed under: The Samadhi — admin @ 10:03 pm

Today I was told that I could no longer bring “The Audacity of Hope” by Barack Obama into work to read on my breaks.  I will get to that story, but I would first like to give a short background introduction into my history as a faithful, though at times quiet, supporter.

On this historic day, we saw the people of the United States of America elect the first black president in the history of this country.  From slavery to the civil rights movement to the present, many of us have sought to overcome the racial boundaries that have come to divide us and oppress a people.  I, for one, along with 53% of this country, am proud to say that Barack Obama will be the next president of the free world.

Now, not that it’s important, but I am a white male.  Part of the majority.  I am also a person who wept tears of joy when Barack Obama won the presidency.  This is not only a huge victory for our nation, but a victory for blacks all over the country.  I believe this represents the beginning of a revolution in our ways of thinking.  Barack Obama has restored hope to a nation.  He’s restored hope to me.

Other than the decals on my car, I’ve been pretty quiet about my views to most people.  I’ve confided in only those who have shared my views, and canvased just this last weekend to ensure listed Obama supporters would be going out to vote on the 4th.  I have engaged in some discussions with avid proponents of John McCain, but only with those who could take part in a healthy, respectful debate.

I have refrained not only from spreading the word about my candidate at work, but also from any discussion of the political climate.  The few words I would add here and there were subtle in nature:  we desperately need our next president to help us overcome this horrid economic situation… the American people are hurting and need a change… I hope we pick the right man (though I knew who I believed to be not only the right man, but THE man for the job).

I have put up with a certain co-worker who I feel most would describe as a fundamentalist Christian who wants to infuse his religious beliefs and ideals with government, who is also an extremist for the far right of the far right.  I listened to him call Barack Obama an “oreo” — a deplorable reference for any human being of mixed descent, a way of attempted to disqualify a person based solely on the color of his skin.  Something a “real” Christian most certainly would not say.

I have listed to this co-worker of mine spout off his negative views of Barack Obama throughout this campaign, but mostly dismissed it as ignorant gibberish.  I have heard every highly-spun idea of why John McCain should have been in office over Barack Obama.  I have heard him tell people that Barack Obama is an anti-semitic terrorist who hates America.  He came in the morning after the 30-minute infomercial and started calling him a Communist, a Marxist, comparing him to Adolf Hitler and the like.

This man once attempted to engage in a conversation with me about abortion.  In one generalization he made about Democrats, he called us baby-killing Marxists.  I have heard the F-word dropped on dozens of occasions, only hoping that some customer with her children weren’t there to hear or somehow missed that part.  He’s given me that I-am-so-sorry-you-are-so-lost speech for thinking the way I do.

This is what I must deal with everyday, and I believe it’s an important part of this story, but not the focal point.  It merely sets the stage for perspective.

Like each and every other day for the past month, today I came into work bearing “The Audacity of Hope” by Barack Obama, and a copy of the Constitution.  I took my quick breakfast out of my bag, and put the books in their usual place, which is on my desk out of the immediate view of any onlookers.  I found today to be especially delicate with respect to exactly how heated this election has been and then the outcome.  I decided to forgo any plans of celebration or even any mention of our victory the prior night because I did not want to create any inkling of a negative atmosphere.  This was a special day for me and the rest of America, and I didn’t want it ruined.

Not so long into the day, I noticed the gentleman, who I discussed above, began talking loudly to some co-workers and also on the phone, whose ravings and rantings ended up being even more disrespectful and ignorant that usual.  I was understandably annoyed but didn’t want to stir anything up due to the emotional lability caused by a lost election.  It was not long after this when my manager came into my office and told me I could no longer bring Obama’s book into work.

I was outraged and immediately reacted to this attack on fairness.  For the past month, my manager has seen this book on my desk each day, made her comments just one time, and left it at that.  There was never any mention of it being banned from the property until the day after our victory, today.  When questioned about why I could not bring this in, I was told it was because there had been complaints.  Apparently, a book speaks much louder than the constant bombardment of political and religious speech from this one man, as well as the political bantering from much of the staff, most of which happen to be members of the Republican party.

It should come as no surprise to you that my boss is also a Republican.  I stood my ground firmly because this just didn’t seem right.  It is not right that other folks can contribute to political discussions, whether respectful or completely offensive, but an Obama book is disallowed–banned.  By the end of this exchange, I was told, “Okay, I’ve told you once.”

I was heated.  I couldn’t stand such a double-standard.  I couldn’t stand the fact that had this election ended differently, we most likely wouldn’t be having this discussion.  We had sore losers on our hands, and there is most definitely no way around that. It would be nice to have people more in line with what John McCain said in his concession speech:

I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.

-John McCain (Presidential Election Concession Speech, 11/4/2008)

Later, just before leaving, she brought up the issue one more time, pleading with me not to bring in this book that had apparently become the embodiment of Satan himself.  I could not give her the answer she wanted.  I could not comply with such a clear violation of any equality and harassment clauses listed in our handbook.  I posed the question of whether or not we would be having this conversation if this were Republican or John McCain literature.  At first, it was simply ignored.  When I asked if she could answer that question, she said that she would not.  It was obvious just what the answer was.

I have, though only in passing, complained about my co-workers in the past, and our handbook states that if we have a problem with anyone that the course of action to take is to see a manager.  Nothing has ever been addressed in this regard.  Her line of defense in this case was, “I am not his boss,” but when the responsibility falls on the manager to address this or escalate it, it should not simply be passed off with an excuse.

As the conversation continued, I was told I was not allowed to express my political views at work.  This is something I can understand.  I’m thinking, okay now we are on the same page.  So, you might be asking yourself, what makes me different from everyone else?  I’m a liberal Democrat, in favor of Barack Obama.  I explained to my boss that I most certainly do not express my political viewpoints in the workplace, and asked, “Do you ever hear me talking about politics or religion, or debating with anyone?”  Her answer was, of course, no.  I asked, “Do you see any political paraphernalia anywhere within the vicinity of my office?”  Another no.  Okay, this is good… she’s starting to see my point.  I was wrong… my point was not even being entertained as a legitimate cause.

She stood tall, defending her orders.  I asked if the next step was to ban political bumper stickers or offensive bumper stickers from being in cars while on company property.  Of course, this was not the point.  The point was not to simply quell political speech from within the walls of the company.  No, not at all!  The point was to quell the leftover heartache from losing an election by a margin of seven points.

Part of my problem with this is also that the election is over.  I could understand not wanting anything remotely political in the workplace during this heated race for the presidency, but for real, this man is our next Mr. President.  Barack Obama isn’t just the opponent anymore, he’s your president too!  The Commander-in-Chief of the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave!

I only hope that my boss can see the problem-at-hand, and see that this is not right.  This is America, where our conflicting viewpoints help develop this country.  It’s what is so wondrous about being an American.  The fact that we can make a difference, choose to get along, choose to disagree but not breed hatred or spite, and truly make this a model for years to come.

While we may have elected the first black president yesterday, I still feel the pangs of racism.  We have a long way to go still, but I believe we can defeat the racists into tolerance, the war mongers into peace, and the divided into a well-tuned team.  We have too much at stake to become two halves of a great nation.  We have too great of a thing to spoil it through bitterness and spite.  Let’s join hands, give each other a break, and a little pat on the back.  It will be okay.  We will be okay… if we want it.

Let’s do this!

September 14, 2008

Step 1: We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Filed under: Narcotics Anonymous Step Working — admin @ 3:04 pm

The Disease of Addiction

Contents:  My answers to…

  • What does “the disease of addiction” mean to me?
  • Has my disease been active recently?  In what way?
  • What is it like when I’m obsessed with something?  Does my thinking follow a pattern?  Describe.
  • When a thought occurs to me, do I immediately act on it without considering the consequences?  In what other ways do I behave compulsively?
  • How does the self-centered part of my disease affect my life and the lifes of those around me?
  • How has my disease affected me physically?  Mentally?  Spiritually? Emotionally?

(more…)

Introduction to my Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Journey

Filed under: Narcotics Anonymous Step Working — admin @ 3:00 pm

I welcome all of you to join me in my journey through the twelve steps of Narcotics Anonymous.  My girlfriend and I both picked up The Narcotics Anonymous Step Working Guides at a meeting yesterday.

For anyone who is interested in working the steps, these can be picked up at pretty much any Narcotics Anonymous meeting for under $10 dollars.  I highly encourage anyone in the program or wanting to work a program of recovery to look into this as an option, as it will provide you with valuable insight on how you work and the nature of the disease of addiction.

All entries can be found under the Narcotics Anonymous Step Working category (link is located in right-hand navigation bar).  With this being said, I hope all of you will accompany me through this learning process.

Stagnancy in Narcotics Anonymous

Filed under: The Samadhi — admin @ 1:52 pm

Yesterday, my lover and I attended a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in the city of brotherly love.  It was a welcome change from our typical meeting regiment, which consists of one meeting, the same meeting, every Saturday night.  Each Narcotics Anonymous meeting, while encouraging the same set of principles and ideals, gives off a unique vibe and has its own personality.  The Philly meeting we went to could be appropriately classified as one of the more serious, yet very uplifting, meetings.

We both left with a sense of purpose, feeling very motivated to continue on this path of recovery started not too long ago.  With almost 20 months clean, I still have yet to really work the steps, or even a step for that matter.  It’s an important part of the program that we both happened to have neglected up until now.  I would like that all to change, and I’m going to make an effort to really go through the steps and try to really become active in recovery.

Stagnancy is so very easy to fall into.  So many of us thing, I’m clean today, so what’s the difference?  If we continue with our old behaviors and habits, however, we will most likely fall back into the tomb we struggled to dig ourselves out of.  Even if we don’t relapse, we will most definitely continue some of our negative behaviors and habits that began during, or helped contribute to, active addiction.

I’m going to be posting more entries as I trek through the journey of Narcotics Anonymous Step Working, and I hope you will join me, as a life in which we make an effort to live and improve is much better than that provided by stagnancy or active addiction.

April 8, 2008

A Ranting and Raving: The Event Characterized as the First Moment of Non-Existence of the Physical Form

Filed under: The Samadhi — admin @ 8:22 pm

We don’t know how much time we will have on this planet, yet too many of us continue to live in fear of this inevitable event. I can’t say that I’m not afraid or even that I am afraid because I simply don’t understand it. All we know of it are its residual effects, which only affect those still here and not those who actually experience this. We don’t know what it is or what happens after this event, just that the physical form is no longer in existence. We spend much of our time doing things that are supposed to prevent this time from coming sooner, then we negate it with a spur of the moment decision. Where I am going with this, I do not know, but what I do know is this — we have but one life. (more…)

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