The Samadhi - That's Poppycock!

On January 15th, 2009, I celebrated two whole years clean from a variety of substances that would have ultimately led to my great demise.

When I first started thinking about possibly trying to break the cycle of addiction two years ago, I did a great deal of research to try and find out just what would do the trick.  I never quite found what I was looking for; instead, I found loads and loads of self-made detox guides, citing different over-the-counter supplements and prescriptions to help ease the pangs of opioid withdrawal.  While this can be helpful in the beginning, when the physical side of things can overwhelm any mental anguish, it only covers about a billionth of the time you are going to spend fighting off addiction (though, I feel I had the “best” of both worlds—an ever-deepening depression and the projectile vomiting, and… you know the rest). More »

After reading, please comment and tell us what you are going to do to help out yourself, your community, country, or the world in 2009… or just respond to the blog entry!

I am happy to say that New Year’s Eve was quite enjoyable, as I got to spend time with my favorite person in the world.  My girlfriend and I attempted to take a trip down to Philly to watch fireworks.  We jumped in the car mid-evening, cranked up the heat, held hands and listened to music on the way down.  It was a very frigid day, and those who watched the ball drop will know this (we are about an hour and a half south of New York City).  The wind chill factor was easily below zero.

On our way downtown, we noticed a lot of homeless people.  A typical thought crossed my mind at first glance… it must be tough being homeless on a night like this. More »

It’s just about Thanksgiving, and today I found myself, like so many others I’m sure, thinking of all that I have to be grateful for. I’ve been showered with many different opportunities, and it is this I have to remember during those times when I think life is working against me. Sometimes we get so stuck in the daily grind of life that we forget there 1 in 5 children are living in poverty or that so many folks are worrying about much more pressing issues. I have a job that I like, a wonderful girlfriend who I am very much in love with, and a family that cares about me. I have my health and a blog to write down my thoughts.

None of this would be possible if I was not in recovery from opioid addiction. I am thankful to have a life worth living, one without mood/mind-altering substances and the chains of chemical dependency. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Let’s try to carry the ideas of this holiday into each and every day, hour, and second of our lives. One thing that I find helpful is to remind myself of all that I have first thing in the morning after waking up.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I was told that I could no longer bring “The Audacity of Hope” by Barack Obama into work to read on my breaks.  I will get to that story, but I would first like to give a short background introduction into my history as a faithful, though at times quiet, supporter.

On this historic day, we saw the people of the United States of America elect the first black president in the history of this country.  From slavery to the civil rights movement to the present, many of us have sought to overcome the racial boundaries that have come to divide us and oppress a people.  I, for one, along with 53% of this country, am proud to say that Barack Obama will be the next president of the free world. More »

Yesterday, my lover and I attended a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in the city of brotherly love.  It was a welcome change from our typical meeting regiment, which consists of one meeting, the same meeting, every Saturday night.  Each Narcotics Anonymous meeting, while encouraging the same set of principles and ideals, gives off a unique vibe and has its own personality.  The Philly meeting we went to could be appropriately classified as one of the more serious, yet very uplifting, meetings.

We both left with a sense of purpose, feeling very motivated to continue on this path of recovery started not too long ago.  With almost 20 months clean, I still have yet to really work the steps, or even a step for that matter.  It’s an important part of the program that we both happened to have neglected up until now.  I would like that all to change, and I’m going to make an effort to really go through the steps and try to really become active in recovery.

Stagnancy is so very easy to fall into.  So many of us thing, I’m clean today, so what’s the difference?  If we continue with our old behaviors and habits, however, we will most likely fall back into the tomb we struggled to dig ourselves out of.  Even if we don’t relapse, we will most definitely continue some of our negative behaviors and habits that began during, or helped contribute to, active addiction.

I’m going to be posting more entries as I trek through the journey of Narcotics Anonymous Step Working, and I hope you will join me, as a life in which we make an effort to live and improve is much better than that provided by stagnancy or active addiction.